I recently held a workshop on the ‘Breaking Through’ process and as I was explaining certain things, I found that there were a few areas in the book that were not as descriptive as necessary in order to clearly understand a few concepts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, I can’t have that. One of the wonderful things about publishing through Amazon is that you can make updates to e-books and soft-covers rather easily, so I spent a day and made several tweaks to the book and then re-uploaded the softcover, e-book and workbook versions. The new versions will be available within 2-3 days.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meanwhile, for anyone who has already purchased a copy, I did indicate in the book that you should look to this section of my blog for updates. I am pasting the updated material below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
UPDATES – 1\/14\/2020 Version 1.c<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To Adam, who started\nit all<\/p>\n\n\n\n
With Special Thanks to:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Melanie, Sherri, Danielle and Donna<\/p>\n\n\n\n for helping me step into who I am <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m no different than anyone in\nthat we tend to feel embarrassed about what our motivations or lack of\nmotivation may be, but I really did want to get past this life of being stuck,\nso I grabbed a standard yellow post-it pad and began writing a bulleted list of\nthe things that came to mind. I highlighted them in bold below (I added the\ndetails later so you could see the thinking behind my choice). I chose to be\nopen to see the truth behind my choices, no matter how ugly, cowardly or\nunsavory they might appear to be. This was not a time for self-judgement, but\nfor awareness and even forgiveness of what I think I have done to myself or\nothers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My specific feeling of being stuck\nis a global one in that it touched every aspect of my life, so I basically have\nto dig into everything. Can\u2019t let myself get overwhelmed by that; just find a\nplace to start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n With respect to my blockage, I\nasked spirit to help me see myself when I had made poor choices in the past. I\nasked to remember and see the truth of what motivated me in those moments. What\nwere the details? What was I thinking? What was I afraid of? What irrational\nconcepts did I believe were fine and real? I really wanted to know and see\nthese things. I was determined to see these things for what they were, but I\ndidn\u2019t want to stop there, I wanted to see the associated thoughts, the deeper\nthoughts and the scattered thoughts. Leave no stone unturned. Let\u2019s do this. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Then I began to write a bulleted\nlist. I only wrote the items highlighted in bold at that time. The details are\nthere so you can see how I dug into my memories to find where I made these\nchoices. You must do the same when you make your list.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Finances have always been up and\ndown, so I looked there first and asked myself, \u201cWhat choice got me here? Why\nisn\u2019t my current business attempt working?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I quieted my mind for a moment to try\nto remember my motivation and thinking as I set up my current business idea and\nI saw I was rather frazzled or frantic at the time and I needed to find a way\nto make a living, so I felt the only choice I had was to grab onto something\nthat I could put together quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So item #1 becomes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n 1\n– Taking quick options<\/strong> \u2013 What I was referring to here is that\nsince I was living my life without any real direction or passion, when it\nbecame apparent that something had to be done to fix a financial problem, I was\ninclined to gravitate to something that I thought I had to do quickly because I\ndidn\u2019t see that I had time to do anything else. My current circumstance of\nneeding an immediate solution rationalized this. This of course is irrational\nthinking, but it feels very rational at the time. I initiated little\nbusinesses, started courses, contemplated schemes and other various things\nalong that line. None of these quick solutions ever worked and only added to\nthe depth of my blockage, resulting in needing more quick options.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ok now, let\u2019s dig a little deeper.\nI want to find a deeper reason. I then ask, \u201cWhy did I only see that I had\nto take a quick option?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n After a moment of looking back at\nthat moment where I felt compelled to find something fast, I saw that one of\nthe reasons for that was because I had not focused my talent in any single\ndirection and never established a good base for my career.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So item #2 becomes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2\n– Not being an expert<\/strong> \u2013 Because I had not established a primary\nfocus, I would find something of interest and learn it enough to do it, but\nsince it wasn\u2019t really a passion, I never had any motivation to become totally\nproficient at it, and as life passed and distractions presented themselves, I\nwould set any additional learning about that subject aside. I was good at many\nthings, but never mastered anything. I experienced the literal translation of\n\u201cJack of all trades, master of none\u201d. At the time, I rationalized how that was a\ngood thing, and there are some benefits of being multi-talented, but I should\nhave mastered something in the process. I was an electrician, plumber, HVAC\ntechnician, author, web designer, electronics technician and industrial\ncontrols technician, yet I never mastered one of them, so with any one of those\ncareer choices, I would only ever go so far and I then I would just let them\nsit at the level that they were. Maybe a little extra learning here and there,\nbut no singular push to master one of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ok, let\u2019s go deeper. \u201cWhy did I\nnever become an expert at anything?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n This one was rough because I had\nto face that part of me that felt it was a failure. I can remember pursuing\nmany directions, but somehow, I never followed through completely with any one\nof them to become fully qualified.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So item #3 becomes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3\n– Not following through<\/strong> \u2013 This is part of the reason that I\nnever mastered anything or why many of my problems were unresolved. All too\noften I would eventually give up. I would let life\u2019s distractions, frustrations\nand other interests become enough reason for not following through with\nsomething. For example, I was enrolled\nin a correspondence electronics technician course back in 1985 and I was maintaining\na low \u2018A\u2019 average. I was really pushing myself to learn because I did find a\npassion for this. Everything was moving forward until I had a job transfer that\nresulted in having to relocate. It took several months for the process to\ncomplete between moving and finding a new place to live and getting all set up.\nMeanwhile I had stopped working on the course. After setting up my study area\nagain, I found that I had lost my momentum and had forgotten many aspects of\nwhat I was doing and began an overall review, but my grades dropped, I got\nfrustrated, lost my passion for it and just let it go because it went from\nbeing interesting and fun to just being work. I went into that amount of detail\nto show that our problems are often based upon many complexities, but it all\ncomes down to how we digest what is happening as to what the final outcome\nbecomes. I later had this same experience with a C++ course, and with a Home\nInspection course, and other minor learning opportunities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let\u2019s keep going, so I ask myself,\n\u201cHow did I validate not following through?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I know I worked hard on learning\nthings, but I can see I would reach a point where I would get stuck or hit a\nbarrier where I couldn\u2019t understand the training material and I would not reach\nout for help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So item # 4 becomes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4\n– Not seeking proper help and associations<\/strong> \u2013 One of my biggest\nexamples is that of my electrical work. I learned how to perform wiring for\nboth residential and light commercial application solely through some initial\ntraining at a vocational school, then by trial and error and by studying\nspecific items as they arose. I have a good sense of logic, so this was greatly\nhelpful, but in the whole 30 years where I was wiring, I never once worked with\nanother electrician as his helper. Only now do I see the significant difference\nthat would have made if I had let my warped concept of somebody seeing me as being\nweak, not get in the way. This same issue occurs also with my plumbing work,\nHVAC work, spiritual growth, web design work, etc. Without any help at all, I occasionally\ndid well with all these things. Imagine if I were to have chosen to get help as\nwell. I can only imagine the heights I could have attained, had I reached out.\nWhen fear governs any choice, rational decisions are rare and irrational\nchoices are common.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Moving on, I then ask, \u201cWhy\ndidn\u2019t I ask for help? What did I think it meant to need help?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n For reasons I did not comprehend\nat the time, I felt that to ask for help was some type of announcement that I\nwas weak, that I should already know it, so I would try to figure out most\nthings on my own instead of acknowledging I should work with somebody that\nalready had that information or skill set.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So item #5 becomes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n 5\n\u2013 Feeling weak or Inadequate<\/strong> \u2013 This finally got me to the core\nissue behind many of my issues. There was a part of me that felt powerless or\neven, worthless, and so it would be natural for me to rationalize not trying\ncertain things if something deep inside me simply believed I would fail or was\nunworthy of the goal I had set. Although I hit this deep nugget after digging\ninto why I have financial issues, I could clearly see where this same issue\naffected so many of my choices and actions, or inactions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n OK, what else can I dig into? Well\nlooking at what I just revealed, it appears obvious that there is often no way\nto make irrational choices without actively choosing to ignore what some of the\nrepercussions may be, so I ask myself, \u201cWhat choice got me here? How did I\nthink that behavior was fine and OK at the time<\/em>\u201d? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Subconscious or not at the time,\nif you truly do not want to see something, you will either never see it or will\neasily rationalize it in an extremely irrational way, but it won\u2019t appear\nirrational at the time because fear blocks you from seeing when you are\nirrational because it knows you don\u2019t want to know. When driven by fear in any\nform, be it the actual experience of being afraid, or simply being tired, or\nconfused, the results are the same in that you will make choices you would have\nnot made otherwise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So item # 6 becomes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n 6\n– Ignoring potential repercussions<\/strong> \u2013I once quit a job with an\ninternationally based corporation where I was getting $12 and hour at the time\n(1986) to go to a job with a small HVAC company for $8 and hour. Who in their\nright mind would do that, but what had I allowed to happen? I had gotten tired\nof the job because I let my finances run amok, my marriage was in turmoil\nbecause my wife was having issues being away from her family, I had lost my\nsense of direction and I just wanted the problems to go away. I changed all the\napparent issues by moving closer to where my wife\u2019s family was and letting go\nof my car payments by letting go of the car, and eventually finding a job\nwithin walking distance. These were all rational choices from a very fearful\nand irrational place of being. It resulted in me having taken care of the\nsymptoms, without ever having addressed the problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I now grabbed the second post-it\npad to add more issues as they appeared to keep rising to the surface. I was a\nbit enthused at this point because I was seeing that I was seeing. This\nmotivated to push for more. Note that, for the most part, I was just writing\ndown my general questions and those things I have highlighted in bold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Moving on. I decided to look at\nsome things that affected me in general. I often ended up in circumstances where\nthings did not end up as planned or hoped. \u201cWhat are the choices I made that\ngot me there? What was I doing that lead to things going astray<\/em>\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I could see that often these\ncircumstances occurred due to being afraid to see what somebody might say, so\nthen just never asking, and it leaves things hanging. These gray areas would\nleave me open for issues to occur that had absolutely no reason to occur other\nthan having not chosen to make things clear. Then, with this imbalance in\nplace, my head would swirl with scenarios of what might happen, what should\nhave happened, what I should do now, or what I have no idea about what to do. I\nwould lose focus, sleep and any sense of direction I might have had. <\/p>\n\n\n\n So item #7 becomes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n 7\n– Not being clear or addressing problems quickly<\/strong> \u2013 There is a\nthing that I refer to as \u201callowing things\nto be gray<\/em>\u201d, which refers to allowing things to be that have not been fully\nexplained, understood or looked at. As one example, I was designing a web site\nfor a manufacturing company and a price was set for the work. As the process\nwent on, it became apparent that additional work was required, so I mentioned\nthis to the owner, but I was afraid to say what it would cost, so I never said.\nI left it gray. When I finished the job, I presented my bill, with extra costs\nincluded and the owner said he would only pay the price we had agreed upon. I\nfelt he ripped me off, but who really created this circumstance?<\/p>\n\n\n\n OK, as I dug deeper, I could see\nthat many of my behaviors were the result of deeper issues. Overall, I could\nsee I had a fear of what any change would require or demand of me. I then ask myself, \u201cWhat choices am I\nmaking that get me here? What is it about change that bothers me?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n When I would attempt to see the\nbigger picture, let\u2019s say if I were to think about working with somebody to\nlearn more about something, I would be hit with all kinds of thoughts about\nwhat that would mean, and I would be overwhelmed. How could I afford a cut in\npay while training? Where would I live? How would my wife respond? What would\npeople think of me?<\/em> It\u2019s too much at one time. I don\u2019t have the time or\nenergy for that right now. I\u2019m too old to start that. There\u2019s too much travel.\nI\u2019d have to go back to school. It\u2019s too late for this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So item #8 becomes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n 8\n– Allowing the bigger picture to overwhelm me<\/strong> \u2013\u2013Because I was\nliving in a fractured state of being, I could not easily wrap my mind around\ndoing things that would require major changes. So many limitations were built\ninto my existence and I would have to address them somehow but being that I did\nnot know what those issues were, there was just fear and apprehension.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This next one just suddenly popped\ninto my mind since it is a splitter that likely applies to all my issues and it\nis the underlying thought that I do not have enough time. So I asked myself, \u201cWhat\nchoices got me here? Why do I feel as though I do not have enough time to fix\nthings at the moment?<\/em>\u201d Again, this is a belief that is intertwined with\nmany of my other issues where they either depended upon this belief or help\nsubstantiate it and prove it is true. \nWhen you don\u2019t have the time, you have a license to make endless\nirrational choices because you are pressed for results right now, and you are\nnot prepared to provide good results because you did not have the time and\nfocus to do so. It is a painfully complete cycle of never resolving the issue\nbecause it both creates and supports itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So item #9 becomes: <\/p>\n\n\n\n 9\n– Believing time was not on my side<\/strong> \u2013 If time is not on my\nside, how could I further my education? How could I attempt to master any one\nof my skills and become an expert? How could I find a long-term real solution\nto my income and finances? How could I work with an expert or seek the advice\nof somebody who may help me find my answers? I need it now. My life cycle\nignores opportunities and only provides motivation when things hit a point of\nextreme emergency, and of course this validates that time is not on my side.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As a deeper aspect of believing I\ndid not have enough time, I would often end up doing things that I had to do,\nversus things that I wanted to do. So I asked myself, \u201cWhat choices have\nbrought me here? Why do I always end up doing things I don\u2019t like?\u201d<\/em> Remember,\nwe create our experience, so if I experience what I believe and if I believe I\ndon\u2019t have time to be an expert, won\u2019t seek proper help or advice, ignore any\nrepercussions of my choices, believe time is not on my side, etc., a\nwonderfully insidious way of validating this is to attempt to accomplish things\nI am not passionate about. The eventual destructive result of doing this will\nvalidate so many of the blocks plaguing me and reinforce the capacity of the\nstuck cycle to repeat again and again, without hesitation and without a clue as\nto why it is so. <\/p>\n\n\n\n So item #10 becomes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n 10\n– Pursuing things that are not my passion<\/strong> \u2013Again, all these\nissues work together. For example, although I learned plumbing, I didn\u2019t like\nit, but it can help fill in down time between wiring jobs, so I add plumbing to\nmy plate and end up dreading almost all plumbing work, further sucking my\nenergy away from me, dissipating joy. Maybe I should try electronics again?\nCould make better money with that, so I take a 1-year course, and I am\ndisciplined at certain things, so I can push myself to pass with very high\ngrades, but then I never do anything with it. I look at some job opportunities,\nbut I didn\u2019t like the potential 12-hour days and 4-day week night\/day shift\nswapping potential, and quickly let it go. It was no longer a passion, but I\nthought I needed to be doing something, so instead of resolving my problems, I\njust picked a solution that seemed to be doable, but I really didn\u2019t want to do\nit. It wasn\u2019t until after the course was done that I gave any real thought\nabout what to do with it. I had taken\nthe course to satisfy my inner knowing that I needed to be doing something, but\nsince time is not on my side and I had no idea what I really wanted, I picked\nsomething that I thought could fix me up within a year (a quick fix), but then\nI had no interest in it. The only passion I uncovered was my passion to finish\nthe course, and once the course was complete, the passion went away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I now move on to the third post-it\npad. As much as part of me liked that I was finding things, another part of me\nwas having a little dread as to how far this will go. Still, overall, I was\nliking that I was truly willing to address all these issues and at least write\nthen down so that I can see them and work on them to finally end this stuck\ncycle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I felt as though I had gotten all of\nmy major issues addressed, for now anyway, but I decided to just relax again\nfor a moment and let my mind wander a bit. I recalled a few times where I did\nnot start things on time, resulting in issues later, so I asked myself, \u201cWhy\ndo I often end up behind the eight-ball?<\/em>\u201d For the most part, this might be\na general form of procrastination but more so when I see the issue as something\nthat is difficult or boring to me. This wasn\u2019t something that affected me\noften, but enough apparently that I thought of it while looking for things that\nlead me to being in my current circumstance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So item #11 becomes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n 11\n– Pushing off things I think are hard or difficult<\/strong> \u2013This runs\nparallel with the idea of not having enough time but mixed in with a dislike of\nsomething and perhaps a hidden lazy streak. Again, not something that totally\ntrips me up, but it\u2019s still there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then, when I thought I was all\ndone, I recalled a moment where a friend inquired about what I was up to these\ndays and I provided some general information, but didn\u2019t go into any detail\nabout what I was really doing on a day-to-day basis, so I asked, \u201cWhy did I\nhold back telling them more about me?<\/em>\u201d It appears that I had learned to\nwear a mask and I didn\u2019t really know I was doing it, but I would not let people\nknow if I was struggling with something, because I felt it would affect how\nthey see me. I wouldn\u2019t let on that I needed help with something because I felt\nit would affect how people see me. I wouldn\u2019t openly embrace a belief system\nbecause I felt it would affect how people see me. To some degree it is like\nliving a lie because I was not really sharing my true self on many occasions.\nThen there were the times it went on steroids and was a catalyst in helping me\nmake some terribly irrational choices, which of course, were rationalized at\nthe time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n So item #12 becomes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n 12 – Concern about how others see me<\/strong> \u2013For example, an acquaintance of mine was making good money working in a professional capacity and I was working construction. I let this make me feel inferior, that I was a lowly construction worker, so I quit my job. Now I was no longer a lowly construction worker and I tried to put together some quick little sham business that never amounted to anything. So, I went from being an adequately paid contractor to having no income or job at all, and it was all rationalized because of a hidden fear of how people see me, and as is apparent here, not looking at the repercussions associated with making the decision. It started by becoming fixated on one fear, then making a totally irrational choice by ignoring the potential outcome and then creating a whole new issue where the cycle validates itself and will continue forever. <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m going to show you how these specific intentions, when\napplied consistently, will change your life as you know it and free you to\naccomplish things you had not even hoped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Making conscious\nchoices<\/strong> involves taking the time to see where that choice may take you. If\nnot directed consciously by you, an unconscious and often unhelpful direction\nmay result, where you will have an undesirable experience. What you want to do\nis to allow yourself to be aware that every\nchoice creates a direction<\/strong>. Your goal from now on will be to consciously\nset that direction to where you will have joyful and helpful experiences. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Embracing patience<\/strong> involves momentarily setting aside any perceived\nheaviness associated with schedules, requirements, responsibilities,\nexpectations and demands, and taking a moment to see that none of it really\nmatters. None of these things are as important as we think they are, so just\nenvision a gentle mist covering all of them and see them in a peaceful way. See\nthem at ease. Relax, breathe and allow peace to replace any apprehension you\nmay have, and then return to what you were doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Being committed<\/strong>\ndetermines the results of you having made a conscious choice and having embraced\npeace, and is a focused decision to follow through with your choices to ensure\nthey are given the time necessary to manifest themselves as the experiences you\ntruly desire they be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To sum it up, making conscious choices charts your course;\nembracing patience strengthens you to overcome obstacles along the way, and being\ncommitted provides the push to ensure you end up with the experience you\ndesire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To put these intentions into action, take your bulleted list\nand number your findings if you have not already done so, then on a separate\npiece of paper, write down the three intentions. (See appendix B or Workbook\nStep 2) Look at the first item on your list and see if that issue would have\nbeen affected or even undone if you had \u201cmade\na conscious choice<\/em>\u201d or had some kind of goal or purpose in mind when making\nthat choice. If so, write the number of that item after the intention. Then\nfollow this same process for the \u201cembrace\npeace<\/em>\u201d intention and the \u201cbe\ncommitted<\/em>\u201d intention as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, the first item on my list is \u201ctaking quick\noptions\u201d. I can easily see that my choices where I was scrambling to do a quick\nfix would definitely have been altered had I really stopped to make a conscious\nchoice, so I place a number 1 after that intention. I can also see where, had I\nembraced patience, I would not have been scrambling at all or even looking for\na quick fix, so I place a 1 after that intention. I don\u2019t see where the last\nintention would apply, so I don\u2019t write anything there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As you will see, had you applied these principles in the\npast, many of your decisions would have been different. You will see that\nalmost all three of these intentions would have affected every one of your\nissues, and together, embracing and practicing these three intentions will lead\nto the healing of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I reviewed my list and selected which choices would\nhave been affected, it looked like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now it\u2019s time to set your healing into motion and undo how\nthese problems have been set in place and lift them away from you. It is time\nto move forward and live a life without them in place. It\u2019s dam busting time!<\/p>\n\n\n\n For each of the items on your list, we will be applying the\nappropriate intentions to them and letting them go. Look at a few examples of\nhow I released these items and then we\u2019ll start you on removing yours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My choice of \u201ctaking quick options<\/em>\u201d, I hand over to spirit to correct. I would rather make a conscious choice and embrace\npatience instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My choice of \u201cnot being an expert<\/em>\u201d, I hand over to spirit to correct. I would\nrather make a conscious choice, embrace patience, and be committed instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My choice of \u201cnot following through<\/em>\u201d, I hand over to spirit to correct. I would\nrather make a conscious choice, embrace patience, and be committed instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My choice of \u201cnot seeking proper help and associations<\/em>\u201d, I hand over to spirit to\ncorrect. I would rather make a conscious choice, embrace patience, and be\ncommitted instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My choice of \u201cignoring potential repercussions<\/em>\u201d, I hand over to spirit to correct. I would rather make a conscious choice and be committed instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n My choice of \u201c\u2013 insert list item here<\/em> –\u201d, I hand over to spirit to correct. I would rather (make a conscious choice), (embrace patience) and (be committed) instead.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I recently held a workshop on the ‘Breaking Through’ process and as I was explaining certain things, I found that there were a few areas in the book that were not as descriptive as necessary in order to clearly understand a few concepts. Well, I can’t have that. One of the wonderful things about publishing … <\/p>\nChapter – Discovering the Real Sources for Feeling Stuck<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Chapter – Creating a New Path for Future Choices<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n