This world has taught you that when you feel you are wronged, you have the right to be upset and you have the right to expect and seek justice, but you are the only one who suffers from this.
We have all felt wronged at some point in time by somebody or something. When this occurs, it seems perfectly natural to become upset and embrace the thoughts that this person or thing should pay for what they have done...or at least they should acknowledge what they have done and say they are sorry. Most would agree that they owe you something to compensate for the situation they created.
Copyright 2006 Riverdeep Interactive Learning Limited, and its licensors. All rights reserved.
"This world has taught you that when you feel you are wronged, you have the right to be upset and you have the right to expect and seek justice, but you are the only one who suffers from this."
Even though you may feel upset or angry, this feeling generally only covers deeper feelings of hurt and confusion that you can't seem to otherwise vent or resolve. While feeling you are being attacked or afflicted, your anger often paints a picture for you of what you believe should be done to remedy the problem. You are convinced that you can clearly see how the other was wrong and you are convinced that you can clearly see what they should do or say to undo what they have done to you.
The problem with being upset is that no matter how clear an answer may seem to be, you may not be seeing clearly at all. Your judgement may easily become clouded beyond any form of rational thinking...but you will not see this. Your anger and hurt masks any of your outrageous concepts and actions by making them appear rational to you. While in this mode of thinking, there can be almost no convincing you that you are being irrational. More than likely, any conversation about your current feelings would only be seen as a further attack and will just increase your desire to defend your position.
How is it that your mind can so easily flip and accept totally irrational thinking as being rational and justified?...because this world has taught you that when you feel you are wronged, you have the right to be upset and you have the right to expect and seek justice. You have been taught to believe that somebody needs to be punished and somebody needs to declare they have wronged you and apologize for their actions.
As an example of how we have been programmed to think and simply accept vengeance as normal and justified, consider our thinking patterns when watching almost any crime related movie. At the end of the movie where the bad guy dies or is hurt (the common film recipe)...you simply accept that he deserved it and that justice has prevailed because we have been taught that people should be punished for their bad actions. The movie is actually written to surface these feelings for you because the writers know you have them...because we all tend to see this way. We have been taught that justice is the handing out of punishment and pain to the one who initiated the problem, so, when you find yourself momentarily or endlessly upset at what somebody has done to you or to another, it is simply because this world has taught you to react this way.
Getting upset may be inevitable in this world, but letting go of the feeling, whether you believe it or not, is just as inevitable because you can't hold onto that anger forever. So the question to ask yourself is how long you plan to hold onto something that you will eventually let go of anyway? There is a point where you have to consider...what is the point? Who is this really hurting?
There is a tangible form we embrace while holding onto our right to be upset. This form is dark and clouded and looks for support from others to agree with you and join with your anger, because left alone, anger will simply go away. Anger needs to be fed to sustain itself because anger is not a natural state of being. Peace is the natural state of being and needs no help to exist. Peace always exists and can always be found when you set aside or remove things you have placed in its way.
Anger, sadness, frustration and other feelings generated while being upset or not at ease, are not at all like peace. They are all false creations of "anti-peace" that devour a persons awareness and conscious thoughts so that they may continue to live and grow. Upset feelings never build and never reward...they only separate and destroy. So why do we embrace them so? Why do we often cling to our anger and hurt...sometimes holding on for hours, days, years and even generations? Because our upset feelings are a direct result of not being forgiving. We all know we should forgive...but the world has taught us that we are weak if we forgive, so when we are upset, we embrace instead what we believe is our right to be upset...our right to not forgive.
Simply put, any time you are holding on to your anger and hurt, you are actually fighting your natural desire to embrace peace and forgiveness. Peace and forgiveness will eventually resume because they are the natural and unchangeable result of any action...but how long this may take is always your choice and is always just seconds away from being resolved.
While holding onto your right to be upset, you are the one who suffers. Even if you inflict pain on others in the meantime...this has not stopped your own suffering. You might be able to distract your feelings and thoughts, but your anger wants to be fed and it wants to be nurtured. Anger is like a virus that serves no purpose other than to exist and grow at the expense of its host...you.
You can stop being upset at any time and you can stop being angry at any time. A few simple steps can be taken that will greatly help you get past bad moments and help prevent more bad moments growing from them. Follow these simple concepts and I guarantee you will be amazed at how wonderfully relieved your life will become.
- First we need to do some rewiring. It would be a good thing for you to see that you do not have the right to be upset. To believe you have that right is simply an error in thinking. This is a error in how man visualizes justice and is not a right at all. it is simply a mistaken idea that would be better off forgotten.
- Next, it would be helpful for you to see your 'rights' differently and instead, remember, You have the right to be at peace. Say to yourself, "I would rather be at peace". Peace exists whether you embrace it or not, but you can place things in its way so that you do not see or feel its effects. Anger does not exist...it can only be manifest from an error in thinking, but peace is true and exists eternal. Embrace the eternal. Embrace peace.
- Now, since anger needs to be fed, you can release the anger and the compelling desire to hold onto your right to embrace it, by handing over this feeling to the Holy Spirit and he will fix this thought for you. The job of the Holy Spirit is to do whatever is necessary to draw you towards the light, so you can always know that help is just a thought away. Say to the Holy Spirit, "This thought about 'my right to be upset', I hand over to you to correct. I have the right to be at peace. I accept your thoughts of peace.".
- Conclude by embracing forgiveness and your problem is resolved. You will also have taken a mighty step towards reducing the length of time it takes you to resolve similar problems you have yet to experience. If forgiveness is difficult for you to embrace, consider this:
- When somebody wrongs you, you can see instead that they are the one having a problem...not you. Even if their problem is with you, it's still their problem. You can pray that they resolve their problem, but you do not need to take anything they do as personal...and even if you do, embrace forgiveness and understanding. Do not confuse this process with sacrificing and just putting up with something...that is not forgiveness. Forgiveness leads to peace, but sacrifice leads to resentment and anger.
- If your situation includes physical or mental abuse, it may be difficult to forgive because the situation almost assuredly requires you to sacrifice by staying in the situation and sacrifice embraces owing and engenders anger...a very bad and self-perpetuating circle. In the same way that Jesus would go to the gardens to pray...to get away to find his peace, you too have the right to get away and find your peace. Don't stay in a situation that does not allow you to find your peace and practice forgiveness. Leave the situation that exceeds your ability to find peace, then release your right to be upset. After that, you can forgive the person or situation and move on to a better place in your life.
Your right to be at peace never goes away. It may be hidden at times by a busy lifestyle and can be covered over by your direct decision to embrace fear, anger and unforgiveness, but through it all, peace never goes away. It is always there, patiently waiting for you to allow it back into your life and into your way of thinking.
When you allow peace and love to enter your mind and embrace them, your capacity to forgive grows wonderfully and you then experience healing in your life in and the lives of those you forgive. Embrace your right to be at peace and you will clearly see there is no reason to be upset in the first place.
Choose peace. Choose love. Choose forgiveness. Nothing else matters. Nothing else really exists.
David Nelmes - David considers it a wonderful blessing that his insight and writings can provide opportunities for others to see things from perspectives they had not considered before.
His base beliefs are founded on the principles established through studying "A Course In Miracles", which has helped him to pursue Gods truths with an open mind that is willing to see what God would have him see.
You can visit David's facebook page at: Deep Healing Light on Facebook
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This article Copyright ©2006 David Nelmes
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